I Like Big Boats And I Cannot Lie

By the time you read this, we will be on our Disney cruise, but right now, we are in the middle of the two-hour drive to the port that we left extraordinarily early for.

There are two types of vacationing people in this world: those who want to get to the port four hours early and still worry about missing the boat (Bill), and those who think strolling in 15 or so minutes before the final boarding call makes more sense because they can skip hours of waiting on uncomfortable plastic chairs amongst screeching children and pretty much just walk on the ship. 

When those people marry each other, there is a tug-of-war and back-and-forth on the preferred departure time from home. Then, they eventually compromise (and by “compromise” I mean the worrywart budges 10 minutes), drive through McDonald’s for an on-the-way breakfast because even if you are seriously disagreeing on what time to leave, that is your family tradition, and there are no hard feelings. And WHEEEEEEE! WE’RE GOING ON A CRUISE!! (I feel like that sentence deserves 100 exclamation marks.)

Departure time disagreements aside, I am so so so so so so so SO excited about this vacation. 

I know some think a Disney cruise is the equivalent of hell on water, with a wildly expensive price compared to other cruise lines and a crowded daycare-ish crapshoot of a venue, or the way we could save our vacation dollars for a trip somewhere more peaceful, like Hawaii. 

At times, I share that perspective. We’ve been on a few Disney cruises and made a hundred or so trips to Disney World over the last 30 years. We’ve been around the Disney block enough times to know that anything Disney-related is always crowded with so many children and so many families. Once we arrive at the port, we will see many who are smiling and polite, as well as many who are already tired, cranky, snappy, and a bit rude. 

Pretty much all of them (us included) will be sporting either matching Instagram-ready Disney-themed outfits, dorky matching tee shirts, or red-and-white polka dot pedicures, which is a reminder that we are all in this together and not really at odds with one another. We’re just tired, hungry travelers forced together in a gigantic, sterile auditorium-like room who are ready to get the party started.

So anyway, once we are on the ship, I’m looking forward to flopping on the fluffy bed in our cabin with 17 pillows (none of them comfortable) while Bill briefly bickers about what side of the bed he’s going to sleep on. (News flash, husband: You get the same side of the bed in our cabin as you get at home. Those are the rules.)

I can’t wait to EAT, starting with a crab leg feast for lunch, followed by a fancy-ish dinner, and then breakfast tomorrow morning. This girl, who typically eats only an English muffin for breakfast at home, plans on diving headfirst into the huge buffet and loading her plate with what looks like the starving lumberjack gutbuster platter with a side pile of bacon, multiple times.  

This trip, an early 60th birthday present, is absolutely worth the price, and I’m ecstatic about the time we will spend together. Swimming, sunning, laughing, talking, hunching over melting Mickey ice cream bars, family ping-pong tournaments, resurrecting dumb Disney cruise jokes from ten or so years ago, and being in good spirits for six awesome days. 

When we come home, it will be with a million wonderful memories and countless reminders of how much I love our family, and that is the greatest 60th birthday gift of all.