I Got Run Over By A Stroller and Saw My Life Flash Before My Eyes
Over the July 4th weekend, we went back to Disney World. This time, Bill and I stayed at The Polynesian for a relaxing, less frantic few days than we had in May.
We laid by the pool for a few hours daily, took naps, and strolled around Magic Kingdom and Epcot in the afternoon.
The only way I could have possibly enjoyed our time more was if the temperature outside hadn’t been so unforgiving and hovering around the third circle of h*ll, which meant I spent my days looking like something that got caught in a drain. Still, it was worth reaching dripping-with-sweat-and-near-dehydration status because we love the Mouse’s House.
Bill and I immersed ourselves into our goofy Disney World traditions and repeated the same silly stuff we’ve been doing there for the last 30 years.
Things like:
Dodging strollers. I understand the necessity of having a stroller at Disney World when you have a child under the age of whatever, but your stroller is not a battering ram, okay?
Taking a picture of the entrance to Walt Disney World even though I have a few hundred of them on my phone from previous visits. But I can’t help myself. The sign represents that glorious moment when we leave the real world and enter the land of manufactured joy, overpriced average-at-best food, crowds, long lines, and a place we love.
Guessing the color of the next monorail to pull into the station. This game goes back to our first visit in 1997 when Justin was four years old and we were teaching him colors. The one who guesses right gets a Mickey Bar. (Bill won this time when he guessed blue.)
Listening to the Dapper Dan’s on Main Street at Magic Kingdom. I guess this is a new tradition since this was the first time we stopped and enjoyed their singing.
When we were younger we would run past the singing Dan’s and hop on Space Mountain. Now that we are older, slower, and less keen on being beat up by a roller coaster, we took time to appreciate their perfect harmony before slowly walking to Space Mountain, reluctantly boarding a car, bitching about how sore our backs were after we got off and then searching the park for pain reliever. (I suppose we can count that as a new tradition.)
Eating at the Polynesian’s Lapu Lounge where we ordered multiples of every appetizer on the menu. I’m kidding. Kind of. We skipped the sushi but ordered double noodles, pot stickers, chicken wings, and Lapu Lapu drinks.
Kicking Bill’s butt on Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin. For some unexplainable reason, Bill – who can do anything well including dominate any video game – consistently gets the lowest score in the family.
While I’d like to impress you with my gaming skills, I’m a spectacularly crappy Buzz Lightyear player, but I’ll let you in on a secret: Around age 10 Justin figured out a few hacks that allowed him always to get the high score on that ride. One day, I bribed the details out of him in exchange for a new Hot Wheels car, and boy, have Justin and I had fun beating Bill at something for the last two decades, even though technically it’s cheating. (I’m not even sure Bill is trying to play in this picture. I think he’s fooling around with his phone.)
Riding The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh. Oh, my heart! We have so many sweet memories of that ride. The first time we rode it in the late 1990s, Justin made a dumb joke, and we laughed the entire ride. We ride it each visit, make that same dumb joke in the same place, and laugh until we snort - just like we did the first time.
Finding bananas. About 20 years ago, when we were at Disney World, Bill wanted a banana but was tired and cranky, so instead of saying, “I’m hungry for a banana…” he said, “I want a banana BUT WHERE THE H*LL AM I GOING TO FIND A BANANA AT DISNEY WORLD???!!!” as he was standing a few feet from a five-foot pile of bananas and of course we haven’t let him live that down.
Enjoying shoulder-to-shoulder people on the beach at the Polynesian listening to USA-themed music synchronized to the fireworks while thinking about how lucky we were to be there to experience it again.
The way Bill refills his popcorn bucket 38574 times and eats 30 pounds of popcorn per day and well, yecccch. I like popcorn, but maybe a little moderation? This is always followed by…
Tummy troubles!
Back in the room after the fireworks Bill’s stomach complained loudly about the buckets of popcorn it was fed. As expected, he launched into his routine of belly clutching, wincing, and claiming death was knocking on the door before eating 52 Tums, immediately falling asleep and rattling the room with his snoring. Yeah, that was a party in a can, let me tell you.
He’s done this so many times at Disney World that we bought him a t-shirt a few years ago to commemorate the horror he must endure. I want to say that I feel bad that his stomach hurts so terribly, but…well… Oh, you know…
And that, my friends, is a recap of our most recent Disney World visit. I could never in a million years have predicted we would enjoy Disney as much as we do, but you have to love the great swirl of unknowns and how they make life so unpredictable and fun.
Now, I know I’m prone to a little exaggeration when I write. Mostly, I do it to be funny, but I’m not exaggerating when I say I love, love, LOVE our Disney memories and love how we are still making new ones. As I approach my 60s, I’m aware of how Bill and I are slowing down and how someday (hopefully in the very distant future) we won’t be able to visit Disney World because we will be… GASP...too old.
The time, where does it go?
PS - Shout out to Bill for his good sportiness. XOXOXO