I Just Have To Buy Gifts For My Personal Demons and Then I’m Done Christmas Shopping

Are you finished with your Christmas shopping? I’ve been done about 15 times already this year, and…um…I’m about to go shopping again…to finish…I hope. (What part of “I don’t want to spend any more money?” do I not understand??)

Let’s review my mental shopping to-do list before I leave: Gift list? Check! Wearing comfortable yoga pants? Check! Drinking a can of Diet Dew for a sufficient caffeine high? Check! Crippling anxiety over braving crowds and spending money I don’t have? Check and check!

Okay then! I’ll be on my way as soon as I finish this post.

I’m ashamed of being a tiny bit lazy this holiday season. For example, last night, I should have been wrapping the presents I already had, but instead, I sat on the couch, braless, with a drink in one hand and the remote control in the other because the television wasn’t going to watch itself. Besides, I don’t think wrapping with a little vodka buzz is safe. After all, there are scissors involved.

Speaking of having a buzz, here is wise Christmas advice: Do not hide the presents when you have one because there is a very strong possibility you cannot locate them. I am excited to tell you I just found the stocking stuffers Santa “forgot” last year, and I’ve never been so far ahead on stocking stuffer shopping this early!

Lastly, have you ever had this conversation with your adult children, or is it just me?

Justin: What do you want for Christmas, mom?

Me: You know those 3958 boxes in the garage labeled Justin’s Bedroom? Take them to your house! You moved out 13 years ago! THAT’S ALL I WANT, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!

Happy Friday, friends. Enjoy the weekend! Chat on Monday!

Christmas 1993

Justin and 22-year old Santa. (Is that not the youngest Santa you’ve ever seen?)

Christmas 2022

Both Justin and Santa aged a little.