I’ll Get Over It I Just Need To Be More Dramatic First

Oh, this cold won’t quit. Having a rotten cold is no fun, but if you’ll allow me to complain for a second…

I woke up yesterday feeling like something that had been filed under S for Shit. It was like a hangover from the drinking days of my 20s stumbled out of the past and gifted me with all the old familiar symptoms: headache, body aches, insurmountable fatigue, and a mouth stuffed full of cotton, along with a clogged but runny nose and non-stop sneezing. 

Except I hadn’t had any alcohol. The only explanation would be that that freaking cold is some kind of poison virus capable of destroying my entire system, and OMG! I just realized that I sounded like Bill sounded last week, and I probably should rescind that whole making fun of him because of the man-cold thing I wrote. Sometimes I really am horrible, you know?

I through bumbled Thanksgiving yesterday, jacked up on cold medicine, feeling feverish, and wishing I could take to my bed. Being felled by some rampaging virus (thank you, BILL) takes your average everyday discomfort and cranks things up to the Pray For Relief And/Or Death level. I’m officially nostalgic for the days when I could breathe, go three minutes without sneezing, and have enough energy to pour myself a damn Diet Mountain Dew.