Friendships Later In Life vs Friendships When We’re Younger
In some ways, friendships later in life aren’t much different than friendships in our younger years. You laugh at dumb stuff, playfully make fun of each other, have stupid nicknames, and lift each other, mostly by making inappropriate jokes.
But somewhere around middle age, after enduring a few decades of female crap that started in middle school - things like ghosting, passive aggressiveness, and mean girls – you realize the importance of quality friendships over quantity.
Well, I can’t speak for all women, but this one did.
After a ghosting episode a few years ago that still has me going WTH?! - because why do that? It’s so cowardly – I started keeping my circle smaller and forming stronger bonds with a tighter group of pals.
I became more discerning about who I let into my life. In doing so I noticed how some women seem to have a better handle on what is important and what isn’t worth getting bent out of shape over.
Their life maybe hasn’t always been easy. They’ve experienced an extra dose of the bad and ugly along with the good but in the process, they acquired wisdom and learned from life’s lessons. They are wise, mature, and kind.
Those are the women I want in my life. They are my people.
Their vibe makes you instantly feel comfortable. You know that when you open up and are authentic you will be met with the same authenticity and they won’t secretly, crappily judge you. No conversations are off limits and you know they won’t discuss you behind your back when you excuse yourself from the group to pee.
They are a magic circle of friends, and pettiness is minimal when you have the correct magic circle.
You laugh and cry together. You send each other homemade baked goods and recommendations for the best gynecologists. There is a constant flow of relatable Instagram reels and Facebook memes sent back and forth in a group text.
They are the girlfriends who help you celebrate every birthday, milestone, and success and remind you that you don’t look old enough to be a granny.
The best times are when you have unfiltered conversations about anything and everything - marriage, sex, menopause, in-laws, mammograms, and even colonoscopies. No topic is taboo, nothing is repeated, and anything can be funny.
It’s easy to have fun with friends during the good times. What matters is that your friends are strong enough to lift you up during the messy parts of adulthood. For example, when you complain 7564 times about one of your husband’s annoying habits, they don’t make a big deal out of it.
They reassure you when you’re feeling fat or living in a stew of bleargh. They care enough to encourage you to stop eating so many donuts, try a piece of fruit, and make more of a commitment to your health other than taking a few vitamins and hoping for the best.
I’ve become a girl’s girl only in the last decade and started understanding the wonderfulness of those friendships. In my younger years, I was more of an independent loner but now, in my late 50s, I’ve acquired a group of the most bad a$$ women you’ll ever meet.
Those friends are my lifeline, sounding board, proofreaders, cheerleaders, and truth tellers. No matter what life throws at me, I know they will be there because they always are.
I hope I give them a fraction of what they give me, and I hope they know how much I love having them in my life.
So cheers to girlfriends and Happy Friendship Day! Take a moment and honor those bonds that make life better. I hope my pals know how much I love them!