HGTV Can Flip A House In Two Weeks While We’ve Been Painting Our Interior Doors For 395968 Days

I have a friend who has one of the most gorgeous homes I've ever seen. One day she mentioned she was painting her interior doors black and I mentally made a perplexed face.

Black doors? Hmmmmm...this was new to me.

Before you think You've got to be kidding (because dark doors are a thing) allow me to sum up my decorating style in two sentences:

An oddball assortment of thrifted things.

Things that are about to go out of style any minute because I'm always behind the trends. 

In one word: Clueless.

So my friend painted her doors and I visited after they were finished and those doors were unbelievable. They made her already perfect house even more perfect.

I, of course, immediately decided we needed...NEEDED I SAY!!...our interior doors to be dark. I talked to Bill about it and he was on board. 

The thing about Bill is that he gauges his interest in my DIY projects by how much time he must spend doing them. You can almost see his brain calculating his contribution: Painting interior doors? My work is minimal, this will not interrupt golf on Wednesdays so Yep!! Go for it!! 

He was still okay with the project a few days later when I had doubts. 

Me: What if we hate them?

Bill: You paint them back to white.

Me: Well that's not a big deal. It's just paint.

So I got busy. I invested in dark gray paint, which was not inexpensive but worth it because our doors would be beautiful!

I painted all weekend and I will tell you, we love our new dark doors! They're awesome! This was the best decorating idea I've EVER had and it was SO worth the time and money because everyone who enters our home raves about those doors...and I'm totally lying.

Yeah, that project clearly didn't go as planned.

Guess what we've been doing for the last few weeks.

I'll give you a clue:

Here "we" are painting the dark doors in the hallway back to white with the fifty-forth coat of primer. Okay, only four coats of primer were involved (and then three coats of paint) but it felt like fifty-four. 

Here is a before and after picture. The dark doors looked better in photos but gave the house a heavy, dreary Adam's Family vibe like Lurch was about to emerge from the laundry room. 

There are so many other things I could tell you about this project (starting with how pretty much everyone tried to talk me out of it because they all saw what I missed - dark doors were a bad fit for our home) but I don't have time since I have to put another 54 coats of paint on a door. Har Har Har.

I will leave you with this:

Cost and time to paint our doors black: $100 and one weekend.

Cost and time to paint our doors back to white: About $30,593 and we will probably be too old to care or dead before they are finished.

Never again with door painting, my friends. NEVER again.