I’m Just A Girl Trying To Pay For My Groceries Who Doesn’t Feel Like Making Smalltalk

The last few times I went through the checkout line at a grocery store close to home, the cashier asked, “Do you have any big plans for the rest of the day?”

And mentally, I was like, SAY WHAT?! because I was deep in thought, wondering why I was buying broccoli that would most likely end up in the garbage, and trying to convince myself not to add candy bars to the cart basket so I could snack on the drive home.

When I’m in the grocery store at 4 pm wearing the same ratty running shorts I worked out in that morning, an equally ratty tank top, no makeup, and buying things like broccoli, Tostitos, and queso, do I look like I have big plans? Or do I look like I'll be making a lame attempt at healthy eating but instead choosing to coat my innards with queso as I stare at the television until I fall asleep on the couch, hopefully not drooling?

This is it, missie. You’re looking at my entire evening right here.

Of course, I try to be polite, answer truthfully, and say, “I don’t.”

On the rare day that I can pull together enough energy to make idle chatter, it goes like this:

Cashier: Got any big plans for the rest of the day?

Me: That depends on how exciting cleaning out the garage so I can finally park a car in it sounds to you.

But suppose I did have big plans and decided to discuss them with the cashier, who is a teenager and a stranger, while a line of shoppers waiting to pay for their overpriced groceries piles up behind me and they are all thinking that I won't stop talking until a new ice age creeps over the Earth and freezes my flapping mouth shout. 

I think the purpose of this interaction is so the store employees can establish a brief yet pleasant human connection with the shoppers.

On one hand, I understand that reasoning. 

On the other hand, I don't think there is a way to handle that question that doesn't make me feel lame when my "big plan" is to spend the evening snacking on plastic cheese and watching Season 7 of Suits. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we should abandon the noble effort of polite chit-chat with our neighborhood grocery store cashier, but could we go back to idly discussing the weather?